Motor Home Massacre (2005)

Author: Josh G.
Submitted by: Josh G.   Date : 2008-07-24 11:44
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Written and Directed by: Allen Wilbanks
Starring: Shan Holleman, Justin Geer and Tanya Fraser


Reviewed by: Josh G.








Very low budget horror is generally expected to be bad. But how bad is too bad? Can you find redeeming qualities in gallons of blood, or perhaps a couple of trips to the sac? Maybe. I wasn’t surprised to learn that this movie was written and directed by the same person, who happened to have directed Evil Keg. Do you even have to ask? A slasher set on a campsite where nobody is allowed to leave sounds like a standard fun film to me. But be very careful. What may have worked in the past may not automatically obtain rights into horror heaven. Writing, direction, and acting all have their parts too; when they’re missing, you’re in trouble!

Benji (Justin Geer) borrows his father’s 1975 motor home so that his friends Nick (Greg Corbett), Lincoln (Todd Herring), and Roger (Nelson Bonilla) can vacation at Black Creek. They pick up Sabrina (Shan Holleman), Nick’s girlfriend Faith (Nichole Crisp), and Lincoln’s girlfriend Brooke (Breanne Ashley). Along the way, they meet up with Jebediah (Lane Morlotte), a strange store clerk who tells the teens about a couple who were murdered at Black Creek the night before. When the seven young adults enter the camping grounds, a park ranger (Sande McGehee) informs them that the gate should have been locked. No one is allowed in, and no one is allowed out. Everybody camps out beside the RV, when along comes Nicole (Tanya Fraser), a nice girl who has just ended a relationship and acts a little peculiar. Sabrina can relate. She’s trying to get over her true love, Tom (Jason Von Stein). A killer soon appears to disrupt the party, armed with a menacing machete.

Motor Home Massacre contains one of the easiest killer identities to guess from this millennium. We receive a major hint, spoken directly by the person that proves that the individual is unstable to such an extent as to want to kill someone. The female lead, Sabrina, is dull and whiny with her obsessive boyfriend story. Brooke’s characterization, of what little there is of it, is muddled by terrible lifeless acting. Faith on the other hand is a fun girl who just wants to speak in her squeaky, but adorable voice, acting what one can only describe as pink bubblegum. On the guys’ side, we have eye candy such as Nick, but he’s good for nothing else. Below average acting from the lot of them. Roger adds a bastard personality into the mix, whereas Benji is a surprisingly likable geek, which may or may not owe itself to comparison amongst the cast. Lincoln is a white boy who tries to act like he’s black in a lame attempt to bring humor to the picture. It’s 2005, and that tired old joke has been done to death already!

We’ve already established that we want to see this boring cast killed off. Sadly, with the killer’s choice of costume being a pair of night vision goggles and a raincoat, you wouldn’t mind seeing him get killed off soon either. He’s not intimidating. This movie couldn’t scare a five year old. Assuming you are going to sit through the entire thing, you want the whole feature to be over with as soon as possible. No cast to root for, no killer to cheer on. We loop screams, repeat the entire prologue over again thirty minutes in, and include one of the ditsiest moments ever. Brooke doesn’t notice a flying machete hit her boyfriend in the chest when she’s standing a few feet away from him.

I will give Motor Home Massacre this: it has a beautiful RV. Very atmospheric. The gore is present, but aside from an offscreen kill which is later shown to be a male’s back completely skinned to the bone, nothing is remotely memorable. The cover boasts a chainsaw wielding man in front of an RV. Sadly, a chainsaw makes no appearance anywhere. It’s always a machete, unless it’s the heroes, who use a crossbow, an RV and a frying pan. Alliance Atlantis released this on DVD with interviews, a trailer, an alternate opening and an alternate ending. I’m not sure many should care. I know I don’t. This is the least amount of fun I’ve had viewing a horror movie for the first half of this year. It’s the kind of film that makes you question whether or not you’re going to watch another slasher anytime soon. If you want a boring and predictable waste of time, then you’ve found the right place. As if you don’t know what comes next: Trash it!




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